How to Be a Better Communicator

Being a great communicator is important in all areas of our life. Whether we are communicating with a partner, friends, work colleagues, even ourselves. Being understood and inspiring others is a great indicator that you are a great communicator. If you feel you need some help with these skills here are some of my top tips below. This is just a start but will get you thinking about how you may need to change how you currently relate and talk to others: -

Discover your own ability
You may already be reading this having decided that this is a skill you need to work on. However, you need to first assess what exactly in terms of communication you need to work on. Keep a list for the next 2 weeks where you feel people haven't understood what you have said, whether anyone has commented that they haven't understood something, where you have felt you haven't been able to talk to someone about something, etc. Note which areas of your life you're not communicating well in. Also, note down when you feel that you have done a good job at getting your point across, as this is also important.
Talk for yourself
When communicating an idea, opinion, thought, etc it's important to say "I think" rather than "We think" as this shows that you have confidence in what you are saying. You are also speaking factually rather than presuming what others think about a particular issue. If you do want to express something for a group of people then it's important to ask everyone and express their view by naming them before you talk.
Body Language
When you are talking to people observe your body language and your tone of voice. Remember to use open strong gestures, look people in the eye and smile when you talk unless you are complaining about something. Use words which are inspiring and a tone, which is fitting to what you are communicating. It might be that you need to start practising conversations before you actually have them so you can get used to good body language and the words you use.
Be prepared
It is a good idea before you go into a conversation (particularly if it's on a sensitive topic) to prepare what you will say by writing it down on a piece of paper. Make sure the logic is in the correct order and the argument flows correctly. Use facts and keep it objective and encourage interaction once you have had your say. Encourage others to summarise what you've said then you know you have taken them along on the conversation rather then just bark at them

Rebekah Fensome is an accredited professional Life Coach and Coaching Psychologist. She is also a member of the British Psychological Society. She has her own private life coaching practice in London and coaches people face to face or over the telephone. She coaches a diverse range of people from actors, writers, Mums, bankers, traders, personal trainers, celebrities and entrepreneurs. She also works with many companies helping their employees to achieve their career goals. To get in contact with her view the contact page or click here

perfect body and what mass culture would consider as good looking but they still don't feel good about themselves which leads to a low self image. The key to having a high self-image is to learn to love what you have and not to focus on what you don't have. Most people are actually drawn to someone who is friendly, interesting to talk to and confident about themselves regardless of how they look or whether they fit into the mass view of good looking. Interestingly a lot of people who lack confidence can come across as being stuck up and unfriendly, when in fact they are just uncomfortable in their own skin to be able to talk to people freely.

Some top tips to improving your self-image are: -

Decide to have a positive motivation, which means that you strive to be fit and healthy rather than the negative motivation of wanting to lose weight and be skinny.
Write a list of all your best attributes and read them everyday to remind yourself what you love about yourself.
Decide what negative thoughts you have about yourself and how they have held you back so far. Recognise how limiting they have been to your development and decide to not let them hold you back any longer.
Your subconscious mind over the years has developed ideas of your self image from what it has been told and what your experiences and thoughts have been. Therefore, anything negative stored in your mind can be removed by changing how you speak to yourself. Positive affirmations like "I am beautiful and strong", etc mean you are literally talking to your subconscious mind where these negative ideas are stored and replacing them with more positive statements about yourself. Be your own best friend.
Redefine your external dialogue. People will perceive who you are by the way you talk about yourself. Don't belittle, self deprecate, apologise for yourself. Believe in who you are and others will follow.
Define who you want to be from now on including all the qualities you have already and want to add to your repertoire. Breathe life into this new you.

Get in contact with me if this is something you'd like to explore further by viewing the the contact page or clicking here

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